Woolworths becomes christian aid camp

Now maybe that title produces certain assumptions which are not true,however when i was in there yesterday, i certainly felt the erg to start handing out blankets and dispensing out woolly hats, liberally knitted by the WI, because that place; in the space of one week ,has gone from being a vast consumerist caesium, to the most terrifying, hysterical place the world has ever seen. All because you can now buy a plastic wine bottle filled with even tinyer chocolate shaped wine bottles , for half the price. And god bless the British public is what i say. Many a time I've found myself pining for tiny chocolate wine bottles, and I'm sure these tiny confection treats come in handy when attempting to kick alcoholism. so i would assume that the AA were parading the ailses picking up every piece of confection or trinket that was remotely reminiscent of whisky bottle or beer can. But that's whats so endearing.
before stuff were cheap right, Woolworth's was shit. they constantly seem to sell nothing worth purchasing, and i don't know weather I'm being pedantic, but that's a bit of a handicap for a shop.
but you can always rely apont the British public to proverbially and literally pounce on a sale , and we truly have. this time of economic downturn bullshit, hasn't made us depressed at all , if anything its brought us together as a nation, That's rare. that unity is only ever seen when either a paedophile is on the run, or in power cuts. the power cut being my favourite ,the only time i ever see my family nowadays, is when all electrical appliances shutdown. and even then all we talk about is when the TV will be back running its 67 hour a day shift. So yeah back on the point, I think i speak for us all when i say , Woolworth's once this sale ends...you can fuck off , and the public will sit on top of our giant thrones made out of novelty Christmas confectionery and wait ,buy some time before the next institution crumbles to the 60% sale, and then as a pack we shall use those shop floors like the gladiators did the Colosseum , Battling my way to the till i will be , with my Cheap set of coasters shaped like burgers in one hand and a copy of bicentennial man in the other. Bring it on.
xx
Jonnie