klix fix.

KLIX, with over 20,000 of these life saving drinks machines installed in the UK, and over 1 billion delicious beverages consumed world wide klix really are at the top of their albeit slightly shit niche market. i never understood what crazy man could just go

"right you know I'm gonna set up a business based purely on the dispensing of machines that give people pretty bland and unnecessarily hot drinks". but god bless him, cause it worked. and I'm assuming it was a him as they were set up in the 1800 's when the woman would be too busy living inside the machine preparing the drinks for the people on the outside, glad those days are over. in 1957 the suffragettes protest forced klix to replace the now crippled and slightly skitso-frenic woman, with tiny monkeys that prepared the drinks, then in 1978 Greenpeace and the Wildlife federation got those crippled and heavily burnt monkeys out of those machines, they were then replaced with several other species,lizards ,leopards, there was also a brief stint for the owls, unfortunately their tough union system wouldn't allow them to work during the day, which for an all day beverage machine, is bad news. Finally some fool thought this

"hang on everyone, there's no need to hurt more people and animals , we could make the machines automatic" . this man was killed for his views , as soviet Russia had taken over klix and didn't approve of his logical ideas, and frankly they had a shit load of woman and monkeys to get rid off so this system continued. klix didn't do well under the communist banner, mainly because all the drinks were the same, which did sort of make the idea of klix redundant. the company liquidated (see what i did there). However ,in 1994. a conveniently titled man, Mr K.l.IX inherited the rights and sold his own liver just to build the company once more. This meant he could never enjoy the hot beverages his machines dispensed , without collapsing , but he was willing to make that sacrifice. and thus the klix of today was produced, in the future of course klix will all be robotic. and tiny robots will live inside the machine, and liberally dispense beverages, and in 2030 the robot trade union will end up getting these tiny robots out of the machines and eventually a big enough gap between man and robot will be created ,which in turn will lead to the robots rising up against us, in a war bigger than any our world has ever seen. and who would win this war? none other than the discriminated owl. who will inherit the earth and generally be a bit pissed off that they have no way of doing anything, at all , nothing . just flying really. either that or the proficie suggests that every household will have a klix machine , fully robotic. this makes films like bicentennial man look fucking genius cause that robot wanders round and makes drinks, and he can also make tiny wooden structures and eventually houses, so klix have got some re designs to do if they wanna keep people happy... oh wait my original point was gonna be about how, for stupid reason there made to be hotter than lava. dangerous they are , i split one the other day and it was like alien ,it burnt through the floor man.

Fin.