greetings of the seasonal kind, #1

right peeps. so this week Ive been thinking about what that magical thing is, that magical feeling of Christmas, which is annually looming over us. So my first thinking's aponte the subject went thus. Usually Mr crimbo and his seasonal festivities can be summed up by the decorations or the food, the presents ,music or maybe the shared public thought about how usually December means Christmas will happen at some point toward the end.. oh yeah and some shit about a little hippie Kidd who was born in a shed or whatever.( by the way god ,if u are real, thanks for being selfish and organising Christmas around an international economic crisis. twat) .Ive lived my whole life believing these things made and ignited the Christmas fire in the log cabin of my head. however now that is no true as beneath all of that shit ,one thing sparks it all. The Festive Glade plug in air freshener. I came home the other day , to find all the decorations up , and instead of changing immediately into a sexy piece of knitwear, and singing carols with a mince pie in one hand and a turkey dressed as Santa, who in turn was dressed as Jesus,in the other. i walked straight past them. by the time i was in the room , my Christmas senses were in no way provoked . until mother-dearest wapped on the winter vanilla glade. and suddenly i became alive with Christmas joy, i was the epitome of the season. weird. so that's what it is that makes you feel that way people. and i cant help thinking that maybe if,in the film home alone , if Kevin had simply dispersed the contents of a mulled wine spice glade around Joe pesci's nostrils , that he may have thought twice about trying to burgle them. Or if in miracle on 34Th street, if they'd have smeared a ample amount of winter apple and reindeer seamen glade on those crazy fools who attempted to get Chris Kringle arrested for being a pedo, then maybe he would have been spared from all that mean court case business, and also we may have been spared from seeing more acting from that fucking girl who's in Matilda. then i pondered the man himself, the real embodiment of Christmas, some say hes a saint among men , some say he's a perverted millionaire gone to far, other think hes a crazy old paedophile. Personally i think Santa is a little dated as a character , so i thought up my own one. here goes.....the Christmas Glade plug in. he creeps in through the electrical plugs and leaves a variety of sweet smelling candles and plug ins, along as you leave him a wet dog , that he can deodorize. of course , if he got instated then other things would have to change, instead of a conventional tree, we would have a giant magic tree freshener, with smaller magic tree baubles.drawbacks possibly being that spending all that time around humans and only being a household appliance might send the festive freshener mad, and he might start to have bicentennial man Esq questions about humanity, and unfortunately we wouldn't be able to partake in a family meal ,as we would all be thrown into a chemical induced coma, because of our houses being fumigated with festive smells. Merry Christmas Everyone.xxx